Over the past 2 years she has been gone I find myself being weepy on the rare occasions when the guys are all out of the house. Especially if they are gone camping for the weekend. I guess my mind just knows that sometimes the heart needs to be put on hold… and then when the quiet moment comes, and I know I won’t be interrupted, the grief can emerge.

My sister wanted no funeral or memorial. Her death came at the end of a long year of ups and downs, close calls and then renewed hope. I was thousands of miles away and trusting my parents reports. After 4 or 5 rebounds, I think we all started assuming a set back would be just that. Recovery would happen. But the same day the youngest child came down with swine flu, she passed away. I almost couldn’t believe it. With no funeral, and a very ill child, my parents said not to come. My mother still says I was so lucky not to be there. And I angrily respond I should have been.

Because they did get together and mourn the next day. While I remained a long way away, alone in my grief.

My mother in law gave me this beautiful Camellia as a remembrance of my sister. My sister was very different from me – she had no interest in sewing or gardening. But my mother in law knew that I loved flowering plants, and she chose one that would flower around her birthday each year. And sure enough, this year the blooms have been gorgeous, opening this week of her birthday.

The camellia bush is right outside my office window where I can see it and enjoy it. And at this time of year, hold my own mini-memorial. It was a lovely gift.

One last holiday gift I am enjoying is one I picked for myself and gave to the man about the place to give to me. We have a shop that sells local artisans crafts and wares… and I fell in love with this little bluebird. We are lucky to live where there are bluebirds in abundance, and I have blogged about them before. (Here  and here   for example.) Now I have one on my walls to enjoy any time.

So pretty....

I would love to have drawing talent.

But, while they may not be long, they are terribly sweet. And a pile of them, scrubbed and washed on the counter, disappears quickly – one way to keep the boys out of the cookies.

I can easily go out in the garden and grab up a handful, bring them in, rinse them off and voila! They have been very good chopped in salads too.

So here are 2 dishcloths knit this week… easy, lazy knitting while watching a movie on these cold, dark nights. When spring returns gardening chores cut into knitting time, so better make the most of it now.

Ravelled here.

In any case, she turned 90 this year, and has decided her driving to the mall days are over. So she sent money for us this Christmas, which I used to by some books I knew I would enjoy.

The Farmer's Wife cookbooks

Her holiday meals were always something special. She spent endless hours in her kitchen, and taught me to cook and bake. These cookbooks remind me of her, and I am enjoying going through them.

I am lucky to have some of my grandmother’s cookbooks, and many of her recipes written in her own hand. But these books will be fun to explore and think about times when economy and home cooking were as important as they should be now.

A

Fun!

And because I need something else to fill my spare time like I need a hole in my head (as my dad was fond of saying) I thought this book looked like so much fun. Maybe one of these years I will have a themed Christmas tree – or at least a few adorning my tree.

Many thanks to my Nana, for always making me feel special, and more importantly, for the many, many wonderful childhood memories I have of family and holiday gatherings.

So we decided to “adopt” a child from another country – not so much to come live with us, but to sponsor them and help make their life better. The middle and youngest child really got into trying to decide which child to sponsor… so many children needing so many things. We finally decided on a young boy from Africa, and look forward to sending him letters and support.

Scrapbook they send to help us keep a record of our sponsored child.

Compassion International gets high marks from those that review charities, so we hope this child has a better life through their work.

This new year we did something about it. First, we agreed to host an exchange student from China. This is short term – 5 weeks. He arrived a week ago, and things are going well. He is the same age as my middle son, and is attending the high school where my youngest son goes. We are enjoying learning about the similarities and differences of our lives.

The hubbler bought this to help us learn some of the language...

The hubbler and I have always enjoyed learning languages, and the middle son in particular has an affinity for it – he speaks German and Spanish pretty well for a high school student. But Chinese is altogether different. Fortunately, our student speaks English quite well… and we have all had fun trying phrases and realizing the amazing array of subtleties in sound that there are in the Chinese language.

Gifts from our student.

He brought us some lovely things from his hometown and country. The map is amazing – there are plenty of parks and green space, and a Pizza Hut on almost every corner.

A lovely string of Chinese Zodiac animals

2012 is the year of the dragon.

Our visitor was born in the year of the pig.

I was born in the year of the horse...

He brought us lots of symbols of good fortune. We are enjoying having him here!

This Christmas,our first without her, everyone had a Christmas gift from her under the tree. My mother in law had chosen some of her things to hand down – each with a special reason. The boys got books from her library. And the hubbler was given this mirror.

Pottery mirror that had hung in her home...

Close-up of the woman...

The mirror warms up this short wall off the dining room that leads to the master bedroom. And we are reminded of her every time we pass by. I was given a lovely casserole dish from Denmark – it also had a matching small pitcher with it. Will show you in the next post. I look forward to using and enjoying them both. I was also given some books illustrated by Carl Larson, and some prints to hang on the wall – part of her collection, and given to us because we have ties to Scandinavia from when my husband worked for a Swedish company. They were thoughtful gifts – and helped all of use remember her in a celebratory spirit this first holiday without her.

Today, the guys have all gone to the aquarium down at the beach, several hours from here. I have been lame and stayed home to dust and clean and potter, and hopefully, when I quit finding excuses, grade some Internal Assessments.

But I have cleaned master bath and bedroom, washed the woolens and bath mats (in separate loads, of course), and tidied my office so I can get to marking. Or blogging. Or, hmmm….ideas anyone?

Both of my husbands grandmothers have made transitions this year. During the moves, several pieces have made it our way. One was a pile of Irish Linen napkins that had never been used. These came from the paternal grandmother, a notorious saver/hoarder. These napkins were in a box, with pins in them, and some rusty looking stains. I washed them, and then decided that my teen boys would have these destroyed with blueberry sauce or tomato sauce before I could say boo… so they sat all year in an ironed pile on my sewing table. Today they found a home:

This lovely window is where I watch birds from  my desk. I don’t want it obscured with curtains, but thought this was a fun way to dress up the window. I simply strung a string ad folded the napkins over. In this fashion, they are out of my way, I can enjoy them, and someday, I can resuse them as napkins when it is just me and the mister who will get blueberry sauce on them.

My favorite napkin - up close

My second favorite napkin....up close

I am glad the family thought of me when they found a new home for these!