Oh how I hate to lose that extra hour. I know, I know, it is a stolen hour, taken from the fall. But now that it is pay back time, I hate to give it back! In the past, it was all about loosing sleep. But now my kids are all good sleepers finally. They all go to sleep on their own and wake and dress on their own. I can sleep longer than them if necessary. But my sadness over the lost hour is no longer about sleep.
My own body finally seems able to cope with less sleep. Or perhaps I finally caught back up after all the sleep deprivation brought on by young children. My youngest is after all now 4. But I find it is okay to stay up late and get up early.. I can manage without that awful feeling midday that if I don’t close my eyes for a minute I simply won’t survive. I definitely am requiring less rest.
But loosing that hour really gets me in my mind. It means one hour less to get my house cleaned, my lessons planned, my knitting done. One less hour to play with my kids or talk with my husband or fiddle on the computer. Already, there are too few hours in the day.
And then there is the guilt that comes with knowing several people whose hours are numbered. The Pope right now, is at the end of life’s journey, and several dear friends know their days are short. And who knows what each of our lifelines looks like… these hours were doled out in a limited quantity, and each one is precious. I throw enough away on my own, and now one is being stolen from me. And I feel guilt and remorse for not having spent some of my hours in a better way.
I long for summer, when my children have no schedule, and I have no work schedule to follow. I like being able to flow with a more internal rhythm than that given by the clock. But I know I should not always be reaching forward for time.. Because summer will be here soon, and 2 of my boys will be a year older, and I too will be almost a year older, and the march to the end of life just seems to pick up speed each year. So I try to be patient, to live right here, right now, and not long for tomorrow. I already do wish I could go back in time and live over certain segments of my life. Sometimes, it is just a couple of minutes of conversation I want to relive and do over…
Time… this weekend we have one hour less. So I need to spend the time this weekend as frugally as I can, and that begins by joining my children for breakfast, running to the library with them, tutoring, working on my veggie garden between rain showers, and getting as much out of today as I can.
What will you do with one less hour this weekend?