Summer Blahs…

Today I have the blahs. This disturbs me greatly, because I only have so much summer, and I don’t want to waste it on the blahs.

Possible causes:

  • New house not moving forward fast enough…closing with bank hopefully this Friday.. finally. (Fourth of July had people out of office and the appraiser was slow to get report done.. so tired of hauling laundry out to shed, and knocking over stuff on the tiny edge of the bathroom sink…ready to move forward. ) Maybe the Environmental guys will get by here to inspect the septic soon – where are they? And maybe someone will eventually respond to our emails regarding deconstruction/donating our current home. It all feels like it is at a stand still. Grr.
  • Home in disarray due to packing up stuff for move. See above. It makes sense to pack and sort now, because I have the time now. Once school starts, it will be crazy hectic. But it does mean the house is constantly in a state of disarray. As soon as I clear one mound, I open another can of worms.
  • I’m spending several hours a day on school work. Again, it makes sense to do it now..trying to prep a new course takes hours and hours.. research, learning new material, writing slides and quizzes and tests. And it would be tough to do after teaching a long day and then coming home to care for the family. Teachers all over the states are taking courses, writing lessons, studying materials this summer.. we don’t really get the summers “off” completely. And we only get paid for the 10 months we work.. this is not a paid vacation. But if I don’ t do it now, I will pay for it later, as will my family.
  • I am trying to get my body in order. Once I turned 40, my metabolism stopped. I can breathe air and gain weight. My physicals always indicate healthy blood levels of everything, and healthy heart rate, etc… but, I cannot keep gaining weight like I am. So, dieting, exercising… so much effort going into this.. again, while I have the time…and so far, not a whole lot of progress. And the worst part is I am home and have time to cook and concoct all sorts of lovely stuff.. homemade pies and ice cream and summery drinks.. it is hard to be disciplined and make it just for the family and sip my water and lemon juice…but something needs to be done. And I do not like sweating to my cardio routine.
  • The dh is gone again, this time work related, and I am the parent at home in charge. Trying to keep the three boys busy, and get them where they need to be, and keep them fed on my own. Which really, is what I do everyday, but at least in the evening there is another adult close by.
  • Everyone around us is getting mild flu-like illness.. I wonder how much of it is undiagnosed Swine Flu? We have quite a few cases in the area now..maybe I am coming down with something. I feel awfully lethargic.

Helpful remedies:

  • Imagining my new house.. it will come, it will all be worth it..deep breath and try to enjoy these last months in the old home, which holds many happy memories.
  • Relish the thought of the lovely deep clean everything is getting, and how nice it is to throw out, recycle, fix / repair, find old treasures.
  • BBC radio 7 Listen Again Service – Enjoying a Hercule Poirot mystery, enjoying Vanity Fair, and my favorite comedies like After Henry, and Second Thoughts while working on my school work.And when I run out of new episodes, I can listen to BBC Wales or BBC Scotland. I feel so happy, even if I have no idea what a test match really is.
  • Trying to visualize fitting into my favorite linen capris pants when school starts again. I missed being able to wear them this past spring. And if I don’t get into them before the move, they will have to be Goodwilled… and I don’t want to do that. Trying to visualize a leaner, even healthier me.
  • Dh will be home tomorrow night, and tonight I can have the TV to myself.

Things I cannot do:

  • Make myself something yummy in the kitchen, like watermelon ice cream, or blackberry cobbler. Or even fresh bread and butter and jam… maybe a cup of tea though.
  • Waste much more time whinging
  • Take a nap mid day – made a mistake doing that yesterday. 10 minutes of sleep meant an hour of feeling horrid after. I am just not a good napper.

And then, maybe I just need to let go and enjoy a good book, or a bit of knitting or something for a bit.. it is summer afterall. Maybe I just need to be on vacation for a few hours

Definitely need to make a list for tomorrow though. I do better when I have a direction and a plan. Yes, making a list will be low key, make me feel like I am making progress, and give me direction for tomorrow. Hmm…

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