Thursday we went back to school, although with a 2 hour delay. It was tough, but not tough at the same time. Sort of an easing into the work week.

Then on Friday, as I was going out the door, with snow and sleet falling around me, the middle son called out to say that the ringing phone had canceled my school for the day, and it was an optional work day. Well, the younger sons school was not canceled, so I was able to go into work unencumbered with children and get a lot done. This has helped me relax a bit.. as I am now better able to face next week well prepared.

The eldest son has been struck down by the flu.. so having the week off actually was a help for him.. he did not get horribly behind. I think most of the rest of us have had some version of what he has, so I have my fingers crossed we won’t spread it amongst us. Having the relaxed schedule this week helped me wash loads of laundry and keep the boys bathroom scrubbed to try and ward off those germs. I was also a bit glad to see this illness.. he had had a meltdown of his own, as only a teen can do, just the day before. I am hoping the meltdown was a sign of the illness to come – that thought comforts me.

The youngest son and I completed his Valentines for school.. so that also feels good. No last minute scramble, but slowly and surely taking the time to do a nice job.

Folding envelopes

We found some bandanna themed card stock which appealed to him. I showed him how to fold it into an envelope. He wrote his Valentine greetings on the upper flap of the envelope. This part he was able to do all by himself, and was a very good exercise for him.. he struggles some with coordination in this area.

Then we put something in the envelope. We cut out hearts.. I had to do most of the cutting. One thing I noticed about my boys is that they get very little “cutting” experience in the Waldorf school. Drawing, handwork of all sorts, yes. Cutting yarn and later, fabric, yes. But basic cutting and gluing, not much at all. And it shows. At age 9, he really struggled with cutting hearts. So I did much of the cutting, smoothed his edges, etc.

Magnet

One side of the heart got a magnet, hot glued on. I wielded the glue gun and he placed the magnet. We had only a tiny bit of glue stick to work with, and we were snowed in, so we had our fingers crossed we had enough to get through the project. And we did.. just enough.

The other side of the magnet got a hot glued jewel. Jewels are a HUGE part of a Waldorf child’s early years around here. They are food in the kitchen. They are math manipulatives. They are found in fairy homes. They are traded and bartered with on the playground. They are fish pond prizes. They adorn nature tables. So we had to use some bright red jewels we came across.

Each envelope got a heart magnet, and 5 more red jewels. Then it was taped up and stacked to be ready for the important day. Each little packet rattles nicely, and feels hefty. He is very pleased with his results.

We got sleet and slush Friday morning, which then gave over to rain, and rain, and rain. We are so super saturated. Our pond is now overflowing in a way we haven’t seen since Hurricane Fran in 1996. And this morning, we have more snow.. although this won’t stick most likely, and the weekend promises to warm up and melt away what is left from last week.

I have a sock class this morning, provided the snow doesn’t scare it closed. So I will get a bit of time away. And last night I exercised, which also seems to have helped remove most of the bad mood. I think I go through this every year at Jan/Feb time… but this just seemed to slam into me. Truly a waking up on the wrong side of the bed… but I think I figured out where the right side was, and now to enjoy my weekend, because next week promises to be back to normal.

Magic loop sock class homework.. these are actually now knit all the way to the instep - both of them - today we do heels!

and I have no idea how to scramble out.

I know when I feel sad or anxious or mad or bored–but at this moment, I seem to have all those rolled into one and it is making for a miserable me. We are on day 3 of no school…not sure what roll that is playing into things. Part of my anxiety is coming from wondering each day what tomorrow will bring. Do I need to have lessons ready for a full day or a half day or will we be home. What can I accomplish, etc.

The weekend was an unusual mix of relaxation because we were snowed in, and utter frustration because I lost some software vital to my lesson planning and work. The man about the place couldn’t fix it quickly, and didn’t have time to help me out, so I spent most of Monday on the phone and online getting it fixed myself. Eventually, it did get fixed, but so much time and energy went into it, that I am still angry about it. In between, I have done laundry and cleaned the bathroom and mopped and dusted and so on. I have made big meals.. more complicated meals.. since I did have time. A roasted veg soup is in the fridge, and homemade spaghetti and meatball sauce is waiting for tonight. So I have been productive, and done a good job with householding.

I have taken the middle child to the library twice for research for a report on Sir Francis Drake. I have taken the eldest to get a new retainer and picked up meds at the pharmacy. I have helped the youngest come up with and create his Valentines for his class. I have supervised and finished off the writing of the Thank you notes and sending them off in the mail.

I been a good housekeeper. I have checked lots of things off the list. I have watched a good movie or two, done some knitting, and slept well. And yet, I feel miserable.I could do with a good long cry, and feel the tears right there, but I am home with my kids and don’t want them to wonder what is going on.

I am in a “nobody loves me everybody hates me I am going to go eat worms” frame of mind. Is it cabin fever? Is it the February slump? Is it hormonal? Is it the emotions and stresses of the last few months still spilling out?

I feel volatile and cranky. Empty and alone. And I still have a ton of things to do on my list.. so, better pick myself up and soldier on. And hope that whatever this is, it passes soon.

As I was trying to publish the last post, a child yelled “Snow”. Since we have all been yelling “Snow” all day, followed by “made ya look” (Including me, to me second block and fourth block students.. I was so mature today) I did not believe it was anything until the man about the place said… hey, there is snow.

Within an hour, this is what our place looked like:

Railing of stairs.

Stairs themselves

Footprint

Our garden pond

Hmmm… maybe there is something to this forecast afterall….

The weather service sent out a winter storm warning early in the week… very unusual. The weathermen are frothing the town up, and all the towns and cities around us, with the idea of a serious snow/ice event. Yesterday the highways were being brined for a storm not expected to hit until midnight tonight. Cancellations everywhere.. sports events, trips, flights…

Email reminders sent out to all state employees… me being one since I am a teacher… reminding us how to make winter weather preparations. The town is standing by with plows and sand, with chainsaws sharpened for heavy limbs which, when covered with delicate ice, can crash down taking the power with it.

So yesterday evening I sent the man about the place out to get some weekend groceries. As a teacher, I tend to shop on the weekend for the weeks groceries. By Friday we can be seriously low on things around here. So, he went out to buy the staples… milk and bread and cereal… and a few other things required for big snow.

Bread and cereal and bagels are easy to eat if the power goes out...

Lots of milk for us...

Popcorn... cannot live without for long...

Cocoa for when we have been playing outside...

And what is cocoa without minimarshmallows...

And then when I arrived home this afternoon, I decided to get a jump start on the laundry, just in case.. and the middle son made some herbed bread… just in case.

And  I thought we needed one of these:

http://mennonitegirlscancook.blogspot.com/2010/01/citrus-pound-cake.html

So we are ready.. now we shall see if it really snows!

My sister would have been 41 today. Long chat with my parents and grandmother… we all conclude that 41 years is too short. But today was also the funeral of a former student of mine… she had only 19 years before a car accident took her life. And really, none of us knows when our time is next. We must seize the day, smell the roses, hug our kids, mend our fences, tell our loved ones what they mean to us, and live like we are dying. Because we are…I just wish my sister had had a little bit longer. Being sisterless sucks.

Cooking dinner has been the hardest challenge with returning back to work. I have been back to work fulltime 5 years now, and still, it can be a struggle. Finding the right balance is tough. I often get home right about 4:45 – 5:00 and sometimes the boys have scout meetings, ball practices etc that must take them right out again. No time for making a lasagna from scratch, or a stew.

Currently, I am on a kick of making several large meals on the weekend. This is when I have the time for multi-part meals, slow cooking of a stew or soup.. so I can make things like chicken enchiladas from scratch, or a veggie lasagna, and we can eat them for a couple of night during the week.

Today, it was a shepherds pie…

Making giant batch of mashed potatoes

The sauce is bubbling up and over the potatoes.. but yummm!

I made enough to make 2 large casseroles.. one went into the freezer, the other is ready to be heated for a weeknight meal. Each week I plan 2 such large meals, and several easy/quick meals, and one night of clearing out the leftovers. In addition, we can pull a meal from the freezer based on earlier efforts. We currently have one batch of enchiladas, one batch of stew, and one batch of meat and vegetable soup sitting in the freezer for this weeks freezer meal if needed. Planning ahead like this  means less stress on me during the week.

This shepherds pie recipe is a Martha Stewart version. When I plan my week, I like to look at a couple of favorite places on line.

Everyday Food is a good place for balanced meals requiring less effort but big taste.

Tasty Kitchen is the brainchild of Pioneer Woman and provides lots of time tested family favorite meals from families around the country. We have enjoyed many of the meals we have eaten from those recipes: Apple Cranberry Pot roast; Healthy Macaroni and Cheese; Great Northern Corn Soup, etc. It is like having a collection of church cookbooks from all over the world at my fingertips.

Mennonite Girls Can cook always has no-fail recipes that are similar to what I ate growing up. Last week we enjoyed these Pulled Pork Sandwiches which are not a meal I would have had in my German Lutheran Texan past, but is part of my current North Carolina heritage. They were eaten quickly.

I love being able to look up recipes on line, make my plans, try new things… and food blogs are always inspiring too. What a world the internet opens up!

Let’s see… change out the Advent wreath header and pick a more wintery theme… check.

Finals went very well, my students performed wonderfully. Breathing sigh of relief.

Lurgy left me, but now youngest has it. SO cleaning house and killing germs is priority. Have thoroughly cleaned bathrooms, washed sheets and towels in hot water, scrubbed down kitchen. Germs, beware.

Visited new library. WoW! Entire first floor is children’s library. Youngest got a fresh stack of books which is good now that he has head cold. It took me a while to find all my favorites. I am looking forward to getting to know this new space as well as I knew the old one.

That is all.

For Christmas I received some lovely knitterly gifts. The youngest child gave me some lovely purple sock yarn. The man about the place gave me some handspun/dyed yarn. The cousin that drew my name in the annual secret santa spoiled me rotten.. she is a fellow knitter.. she gave me some lovely sock yarn, some lace weight yarn, a blocking mat, lace blocking wires, and a magic loop sock book. And the inlaws put the icing on the cake with a gift of a class for making Magic Loop Socks. What a marvelous Christmas.

So yesterday I started my class. We learned a wonderful cast on for Magic Loop Toe up socks. I have knitted socks toe up and top down before. I prefer toe up because a) you can try them on as you go which means a more perfect fit and b) you can knit til you run out of yarn. However, so many of the patterns are written for top down, which I enjoy as well. I have always knitted socks on double point needles and have no trouble with it..but the toe up cast on I know how to do is a bit tricky. I am sure there are others, and I may even be able to adapt this cast on for dpns. In any case, it is lovely to be taking a class and learning a new technique. And it has renewed my love of sock knitting. As a woman with big feet, hand knit socks are so wonderful.

Here are some photos, more details on Ravelry: Yarn is Knit Picks Imagination in the Munchkin colorway.

I am also using up the last of the yarn I used to knit Three Tams for Christmas. One went to the SIL, one went to me, not sure where this one will go. Perhaps the box for next years Church Fest.

I will say, I am not a person that looks good in most hats. I love them, but they don’t really flatter me in any way. Until these tams that is. They look pretty good, give my head some warmth, and don’t totally ruin my hair. I really enjoy wearing them. Again, more details on ravelry.

The entire week of finals.. which this time around stretched over the long MLK weekend, means a week of not breathing and being in constant prayer that the students will do well. One more to go, then a quick catch of the breath, and then a new semester to gear up for. Fortunately, the eldest child has done well on his finals. All he has left is PE. I pray hardest for him, because he needs it.

But even though the daytime is stressful, the evenings have been a bit of a break since I don’t have to grade most of the finals. So I have enjoyed some knitting and a new to me series from Netflix: Mulberry.

Here is the blurb from Netflix:
Sent by the grim reaper to guide Miss Farnaby (Geraldine McEwan) into the next world, young Mulberry (Karl Howman) takes a job as her domestic servant in this British series. Unlike the other help, Mulberry is quite taken with the cantankerous old lady and, by pulling a few strings, extends her time on earth. Mulberry’s mission is to ensure that she live her last days with gusto, but who is the mysterious man in black lurking about the estate?

I enjoy Geraldine McEwan in this role. I also enjoyed her in the Mapp and Lucia series. I LOVE the books.. and I enjoy the series when I am in the right mood. Sometimes I find the characters a bit too much the way they are played.. But Mulberry has been something a bit different and both me and the man about the place have enjoyed it.

I have also done some baking and cooking this week, and I like listening to BBC Listen Again while I work. This past week I have been enchanted with Trollope’s The Pallisers.. I first heard it on BBC, then got the books from the library, and enjoyed them. I think one thing BBC does well most of the time is not change the plot of the books. I don’t know what it is about American made stuff.. but they often want to change the plot, the situation, the characters.. it often ruins it for me. When a great master speaks, there should be no need to paraphrase.

Anyway, enjoying some down time, even though internally I am still clinched. One more day to go!

Uggh. This headcold was tough. But finally, it seems to be leaving the building.

I did grade finals while in bed on Saturday. And I stayed in pajamas on Sunday because all the men in my house took a trip to the coast to help brother in law who recently had a hernia repair and needed a bit of a hand with some car repairs, etc.

So, tomorrow it will be back to work, and I think the throat and the head will be able to cope.

It has been nice to have some down-time. Made me think a bit and I found a couple of themes kept coming back to me.

CHANGE

2010 already seems to be the year of CHANGE – we have changed houses, I have changed from being a sister to an only child, my boss will retire this year leaving staff fearful of what the change in command may hold, our old house will be burned soon, which will change our landscape, our eldest will take drivers ed and that will prompt changes….even our local library has shut, and reopened last week in a new and beautiful building which I am sure I will love, but which represents change.

I took my small boys there for storytime and summer reading programs and loved the old space. I could walk in with tired children, help them pick books, and in under 5 minutes find enough books for me because I knew so well where all my favorite authors lived. We can have books for 3 weeks at a time, and I always have a huge pile because I read to fall asleep. During the summer I can read more serious material, often education related, but in the school year I need light and cheerful reading that helps me unwind and get to sleep.

The old library was shutting doors in early December, but we could keep the books extra long since they would not open again until January. I have yet to go to the new branch, but hope to next weekend, as by then I will be ready to turn in the books I picked for my winter holiday reading.

2 Miss Julia books, by Ann B. Ross – written by a North Carolina author, and enjoyable reading. This time I read Miss Julia Delivers the Goods, and reread  Miss Julia Strikes Back.

2 Miss Read books – At Home in Thrush Green and Farewell to Fairacre. I can never get enough Miss Read and have many of her books in my own collection, and have them all memorized.. but they are the best books for taking me completely away from all my thoughts and issues swirling in my head. And, they always help me get through tough times.

Joanna Fluke mystery: Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder – again, I have read all of hers and cannot wait until the library gets in her new one. I think a theme in all the books I like to read is that I just want to know what the characters have been up to. I want to catch up on the gossip. No matter how mundane. And reading the recipes doesn’t hurt either.

Sarah Strohmeyer is a new author to me. Last go around I read The Cinderella Pact and this time I read The Sleeping Beauty Proposal. This is chic lit with a bit more intelligence and wit about it, and I enjoyed both.

And finally, Angela Thirkell. I like her novels, but they are slower for me to read (Same with Elizabeth Goudge. So usually, I save them for holiday time or summer. )Which is not a bad thing, but I have to be in a slower frame of mind to check them out. This time I am reading Headmistress. Again, it is all about keeping up with the characters.. her books interweave characters from her world… and I love going back in time. This book takes place during WWII, and in fact was published in 1945 with this promise on the front cover: “This book has been produced in full compliance with all government regulations for the conservation of paper, metal, and other essential materials.”

So, feeling well enough today I did my exercise routine and then in the winter sun that finally showed up took a bath to soak the old muscles in epsom salts and hopefully steam out the final crud from my chest, and read my Thirkell book. So wonderfully indulgent.. just loved it.

And here is a little excerpt I share with you, because I so wish I had been there with those women. Partly because I can find knitting groups just like that today. I go back and read these books because most of them are about real people, living real ordinary lives, (although continuing to find dead bodies is not so real, thankfully) and it just goes to show, the more things change, the more they stay the same. That is comforting.

Setting:  The women have all gathered at a war work party where knitting is the primary goal.

From page 61:

“As it was now half-past three, the working party was in full swing. Mrs. Perry’s comfortable and slightly over furnished drawing room looking out on the cedar was boiling over with nine or ten ladies, some winding wool on the back of a chair or on a friend’s hands, some not being quite exactly sure how one did that other casting-on stitch, not the one where you go on knitting with two needles, my dear, but the one where you measure off ever so much more than you want and twist it round your left hand like this – no, like this – and keep on making a stitch with one needle, but I haven’t quite exactly got it, don’t look at me for a moment and I’m sure it will come back. Others again were knitting with such frenzied speed that, being also  much occupied in conversation, they overshot their mark and had to take off all the stitches and unravel back to where they ought to have begun increasing and pick up all the stitches again except the one that always managed to escape, turning up sometimes as the end of a long ladder. And Mrs. Updike, a tall, fair, thin woman looking ridiculously young for the mother of four children between 15 and 25, was sitting with her legs crossed, examining her knitting with an expression of bewildered friendliness.”

So, what are you reading right now? And why? Which books bring you comfort?